More on insecurity

Several of you have made comments about my last post on insecurity, or asked if I'm okay. YES, I'm fine...same as I have always been...insecure. And the reason for my post was more or less to open up in an area that I think we all share. Insecurity might manifest itself differently in everyone, but it is still there. I thought perhaps we could all jump in the battle against it together.

To that end, I have started reading one of Beth Moore's books, So Long, Insecurity. I'm only on chapter 3, and wow, this book has me nailed. My highlighter has been put to good use already, if you know what I mean.

Here are just a few of the statements that have jumped off the page at me:

"...is there no validation for our womanhood apart from a man?"

"Men are not the problem; it's what we are trying to get from them that messes us up... We use guys like mirrors to see if we're valuable."

"...we're attempting to get security from a gender that doesn't really have much to spare."

"Are we honestly going to insist on drawing out security from people- men or women- who are oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us?"

"We all have insecurities. They piggyback on the vulnerability inherent in our humanity. The question is whether or not our insecurities are substantial enough to hurt, limit, or even distract us from profound effectiveness or fulfillment or purpose."

"...one specialist's definition of insecurity: Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt- a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."

"Not everyone who is sensitive is insecure, but make no mistake: everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault."

"Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form."

"The insecure person also harbours unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. These expectations, for themselves and for others, are often unconscious. The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable. Ironically, although insecure people are easily and frequently hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery."

Again, I'm only on chapter 3, and I'm totally hooked. I want to move past this. I want to grow more confident and stop placing unrealistic expectations on other people and things to esteem me or provide a certain sense of self-worth. I jumping in the battle head on, and I thought that perhaps you might want to too. Let's kill the vicious cycle before we unknowingly pass it down to our daughters. I for one, do not want Ryleigh crying every time we head to a dressing room at the mall. I do not want her chasing guys to fulfill some desperate need to feel attractive or loved. I do not want her to place unrealistic expectations on her girlfriends, setting every friendship up to fail, so that in the end she has no friends. I don't want her to ever see the cycle, much less, become entangled in it.

Anyone else out there ready to dive in? Why don't you go pick up this book and we can read it together? I'll hold you accountable, if you will do the same for me.

Each of you out there who read this blog have a special place in my heart. I genuinely care about each of you, and esteem you more than you know. I think you are all amazing, strong, and beautiful women...and I want you to know it and feel it down in your soul too. C'mon. Take the journey with me.

What do you have to lose?

Just the insecurity.