10 months

Yep, it is that time again. Again. Time just keeps on chuckin' and before I know it, my little man will be one. Yikes. Let's stick with 10 months.

On a side note, this picture is getting harder and harder to take! Wesley is not real fond of laying still these days!

I wouldn't want to sit still either if I finally knew how to crawl!

And pull up on everything, seeing the world from a different angle.

No matter the activity, whether playing sissy's piano,

...or attempting to escape from bed (which he did this month, landing on his head no less). Wesley is on the move!

He goes and goes and goes....until...he is just plain tuckered out. And then, without warning, he is out like a light. No matter where he is, or what he is doing.

When Wesley is tired, I can find him just like this.

He likes being out and about, watching people, especially his big sister.

They really are becoming the best of friends, playing together, and both equally putting up with one another. Wesley will play like Ryleigh's little doll and let her do what she wants...

...at least for a little while. Once she's gone though, you better believe that hat comes off! For some reason, he is anti-hat right now.

His personality is showing more and more everyday, and I think when I have said he is "laid back" before, it was relative to Ryleigh. Because this little boy? He has a personality too. He is funny! And he giggles with the best of them. He loves to play peek-a-boo and will shrill with laughter when his daddy really catches him off guard.

Speaking of Daddy, "da-da" is still the only syllable this boy will say! No joke! Over and over, day after day, Wesley happily says "Da-da-da-da," but that's as far as it goes.

He is doing a little better with some table foods. The gag reflex has not gone away, but luckily he is learning to chew better and better. He ate a whole banana the other day! (Cut up, of course.)

I know I am biased, but Wesley just grows more and more handsome. Like his Daddy. And his sister. Check out the eyelashes that continue to grow thicker and longer every day. What a stud!
This boy melts me. I took this picture the last night in his baby tub. Now he sits in the bath tub splashing along with his sister. He might not sit in the baby tub anymore, but at least he still loves to give me his sweet grins.

And they still melt me, every single time.

Summer travels and fun

The past month has been very busy and fun! I have not had a chance to tell you much about all the fun things we have been doing, and I was holding off, hoping to dedicate a post for each individual fun adventure. But time is still ticking away, and I'd rather show a snippet of each thing, rather than forget to post about it at all! So, here is a very short overview.

For the Fourth of July, the George Bush library always does a firework show. Last year, we watched it from Traditions, because it was still our home. This year we planned to go, but Jesse was overly hot and tired, as was Wesley. So I called Julie to see if she wanted to go with me and Ryleigh. Lo and behold, she was going with some of her friends! Ryleigh and I met them there, and hung out to watch the show.

Just an FYI, it is summer. In Texas. Therefore, you will notice that the accessory of choice for every single picture is shiny sweat. Real attractive. :)

But, we had a good time, and were thankful that Juls let us crash her party.

Next I'm going to show you pictures from a great weekend with my family up in Dallas.







Ohhhh wait. No, I'm not. That's right. I FORGOT MY CAMERA the weekend we had in Dallas with everyone. The original "Holder" family only gets together once or twice a year, depending on special occasions, and I left my camera at home. Can I tell you how frustrated I was? Not only did I miss pictures of my sisters and I hanging out, Ryleigh meeting her cousin Peyton and the two girls in their matching outfits, all three of the cousins together for the first time...it was also the first ever Little Family Reunion! And I have no pictures! Well, lots of other people took pictures so I have their pictures, but I'm totally bummed that I missed out with my own. It was a really fun weekend, despite a really bad night from Ryleigh and Wesley that forced us to leave early. A good time was had by all, and I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with the Holders and all the Littles!


Next on the map was the extended family reunion in San Antonio the following weekend. I didn't take too many pictures, but I think Julie grabbed my camera and took some during the pinata! Wesley was the first batter up.

Ryleigh was shortly after, and this year she actually "got it" swinging away at the pinata. And when it was broken, you better believe the girl came back with a bag full of candy!

Saturday night, we stayed in San Antonio. My parents and Julie had tickets to a concert, so it was just me and the kiddos. We stayed at a hotel "on the riverwalk" so I was going to attempt to take the two of them down there for dinner. Turns out, we were NOT on the riverwalk, and the more I considered pushing a stroller while watching a toddler on the busy riverwalk, the more daunting it seemed. SO, we ordered room service and had a picnic in the hotel instead. After the rough night we had had the weekend before out of town, I was scared to death of another bad night...and this time without Jesse's help! We laid low, ate a calm dinner, played, took a long bath, did the normal night time routine complete with story time, and then tucked everyone in bed. And they did pretty well! Wesley woke up happy as clam the next morning!

And it's a good thing, because we had plans... the kids first trip to Sea World!! My parents wanted to take us, and naturally Ryleigh was pumped!

Wesley had to warm up to the idea. After refusing to wear his hat, and then getting sunscreen reapplied to his head, he was pretty fussy right off the bat.

But, warm up he did! (In more ways than one...) First thing on the list of things to do?

Why does anyone go to Sea World?? To see Shamu! And this year one of the whales had a baby. See it swimming with its mommy? Aww, it was super cute.

We were sitting behind the splash zone, thinking there was no way we would get splashed, and if so, maybe a couple drops. Well, Mom, Dad, Ryleigh, and Wesley (who was then sitting on Dad's lap) managed to stay dry, while Julie and I somehow managed to get SOAKED. Shamu hit their tail just right and that water came straight for us.

Ryleigh loved the show!

And feeding the flamingos with Granddaddy was fun! "Pink birds??"
Ryleigh also experienced her first roller coaster ride. My little dare devil loved it! We no sooner got off the ride, and she was already asking to go again!

So Aunt Julie obliged.

Julie and I thought we would be big shots and ride the large roller coaster, The Steel EEL, and I think we both thought we were going to lose our lunch and die right there. I definitely felt my age on that one!!

It was a hot day, but a LOT of fun. Ryleigh had a blast seeing the different shows and exhibits. Apparently she asked my mom why she could not swim with the penguins...umm, yes it was hot, but that might be a little extreme.

On the way home, we stopped in San Marcus at Julie's old place of employment: The Gristmill. My oh my, it was so good. And it just happened that it was my one splurge day on the entire 24 day challenge, so YES, I splurged it up good. Dessert and all! The drive home was rainy, but God gave us a double rainbow at the end. We arrived home, took baths, and climbed in bed! (Needless to say, the next day was a lazy one.)

We have been traveling this summer, and August holds more plans for more travel. I guess that is what summer is for, right? Hot, sweaty fun in the sun...preferably not in your own backyard. Ryleigh is having a great time, and I know she will be bored immensely when Fall rolls back around.

Yep...did it again...

Lots of blog posts below! Sorry! Can't keep up these days!

Getting healthy!

After almost 10 months of complaining about my body (post baby), I finally decided to do something about it. I have been looking at purchasing a home elliptical for awhile, but was waiting for a good deal. In fact, in recent months, I have been super close to purchasing one, only to have it fall through at the last minute for one reason or another.

I found this elliptical on craigslist. Brand new as of January, but the owner decided she would rather go to her gym classes instead and wasn't getting the use of it she thought she would. It came with a 3 year (transferable) warranty on parts and service. And they were willing to deliver! Needless to say, after some research, I jumped right in.

I'm now the proud owner of a NordicTrack AudioStrider.
(No, it is no longer in our bedroom for those who are concerned...it got bumped to the office.)

So far, I've done really well waking up in the morning, doing my elliptical workout and then either some arm weights/push ups or abs. For me, and this season of life, this is the best option. I don't have to get the kids dressed and ready, drop them off at the gym daycare, and hope I don't get called to go get them. Do I miss the fun classes? Sure. But I have to do something right now, and this is much better than sitting around wishing I could go to the gym uninterrupted. Now, I do it while they are eating breakfast and watching cartoons in their jammies. Its a win win.

On top of my workouts, Jesse and I are also participating in a 24 Day Challenge with a group of people here in town. The first 10 days are a cleanse, there is one "off" day, and then the remaining days are burn/refuel days. So far, we are on day 7 of the cleanse, and yes, we have both already lost weight. Jesse wanted to do this challenge, and as usual, I was hesitant. I admit it. I have a love affair with food. I NEVER diet. But this is not a diet. This is a change in eating patterns. Again...not my strong suit. I figure that food is good for a reason!! Everyone enjoy! Normally when I start to notice extra chub on my waistline, I just cut back my portions; not necessarily changing the food I intake.

This part of the challenge takes it back old school. There is no counting calories or anything like that (though in our case, Jesse and I have both said we have to be consuming less calories without even thinking about it). We eat a minimum of 5 "meals" every day. Here are a few of the rules of the cleanse:

• No fried food, refined sugars, starches, or bread
• No dairy
• No coffee or soda
• No salt!
• Eat fruits and veggies
• Eat healthy fats (avocado, nuts/seeds, olive oil)
• Eat clean proteins (tuna, salmon, chicken, turkey breast-not deli meat, egg whites)
• Eat clean carbs (whole grain brown rice, hummus, oatmeal)

Pretty much, the rule of thumb is that anything that can be grown (fruits/veggies/nuts) or killed (meats) is okay. Anything with a shelf life is not okay, because it has been processed. We are literally eating food in its natural state.

I must admit, it has been quite a change. I dropped Diet Coke hard core. But, with the supplements you take to support your body during the cleanse, I never had a big caffeine-withdrawal headache! Amazing! Also, I have thought that I eat pretty healthy in the past. But, tuna fish with a big 'ole glop of mayo and sweet relish is technically not healthy. (Still healthier than a double-cheeseburger, but you get what I'm saying.) Eating tuna fish with veggies and fruits instead of my normal condiments...well, it tastes, different. Eating salad without salad dressing...hmmm. It is taking some adjusting.

My goal in all of this is just to jump start my body and mind into a new frame of mind. I want to be forced to try different foods I would not have tried otherwise. I want to get back into the habit of looking in the refrigerator for a snack (fruits/veggies) rather than the sweet and salty snacks I normally grab. I want to quit eating mindlessly. So that when this challenge is over, my frame of mind has changed. Will I still eat things that taste good? Ummm YES. But I will be more conscious about it.

Anyway! So, that's one thing going on right now. I must say, we have been traveling while on it, and that is much harder. However, the longer we do it, the stronger my resolve. I'm too far invested now!! I want the full success!! I'll report when we're done!

Epiphany

Jesse and I have had a rough week. Or...multiple weeks. Or...months. Really now, if life ever easy? I don't think so. Looking back, I'm always thankful for the rough times in our marriage because we usually learn something profound about ourselves, each other, or marriage in general. I figure if our marriage has a "growing pain," it is because of growth, which is good! I also try to remember that Satan loves to destroy Christian marriages, so when we feel like we are repeatedly thrown into trials, there is a good chance that the enemy is close at hand, desiring to tear down with the Lord has built up. He wouldn't attack if we weren't a threat. At least that is what I tell myself AFTER the rough water has passed.

But during the tidal wave, boy howdy, that is another story. It hurts. I'm often angry, confused, emotional. I tend to go into lock down mode, building a 12-ft brick wall all around, not allowing anyone in, for fear I cannot deal with one more thing. In fact, if Jesse and I are having a rough patch, you better believe you can see me wearing it as clearly as the color on my shirt. I might as well have a large sign across my chest for the whole world to see. (I'm not the best at hiding my thoughts or feelings, in case you didn't know that about me.)

So last week during the height of our issue, we both needed some distance to chill out, think, and then regroup. I had to go to Houston for meetings anyway, so it was a nice break to get away for 24 hours. (Not to mention, distance really does make the heart grow fonder!) So, we had some distance. And on my drive back home to him, naturally I started replaying the issue in my head. Arguing all my points all over again. Convincing myself I was still right. Convincing myself that he was still wrong. And he needed to change. My way was right. After all, everything I was saying was in his best interest! I was really trying to help him! And make him a better person, like he wanted to be! If only he would do what I say...

And then all of sudden, clear as day, I heard God say, "Melody, quit trying to control him. You cannot make him do anything."

I can't make him do anything. And frankly, when I think about it that way, I really don't want to. I don't want to be so controlling that I force my husband, the God-given head of my household into my submission.

It's kind of like that scene from "The Break Up" with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston:
"I want you to want to do the dishes."
"Who wants to do the dishes? No one wants to do the dishes."

I don't want to force him to do anything. It doesn't make either of us happy! Him slamming around doing something because I'm making him do it, doesn't make me happy. It makes the chore done, but two unhappy people.

So, if I want to help him learn how to "want to do the dishes" by pointing out some room for improvement, he should naturally jump on board, right?? Apparently, not so much.

According to So Long Insecurity, by Beth Moore, this passive-aggressive power struggle married women face is essentially women trying to play God to their husbands. Listen to this excerpt from chapter 11:

"If he feels strong-armed into doing something, he suddenly develops a voracious appetite to do the exact opposite... ....Honestly, I just wanted him to be happy, and he seemed to have such unnecessary ups and downs...I know what worked for me, and I wanted it to work for him...The way I saw it, the man had so much potential if he would just do things God's way. But since he wasn't really listening to God, maybe my way was close enough. If he would just have a regular prayer time or memorize a few scriptures or listen to Christian music or be more jovial or more compliant or less free with opinions but more talkative with his feelings or more selective about what he watched and more careful about what he ate, he'd be so much happier. Clearly, I needed to take control of the situation and try to shove Keith to his happy place."

She then goes on to say that "now I vacillate somewhere between giving up altogether and giving it one more tiny little try. I live in neither place, but this much has become remarkably clear: we cannot control people...It doesn't work."

So back to my car ride and epiphany. What about when the thing I'm trying to help him with? How can I help him without making him do something about it? How I can promote change without promoting action? And isn't it part of our duty as a spouse to hold one another accountable and help the other become the best they can be?

My epiphany? The ONLY thing I can do to help promote change in Jesse is pray for him. Period.

Beth says it like this:

"Somewhere along the way, we each have to acknowledge that our loved one is a separate person from us- someone God loves, pursues, and when necessary, chastises. When we try to do God's job, we get in God's way. We are called to cherish, support, and pray for others, but tying our security to them is a lost cause. That knot we keep tightening is no more fair to them than it is to us. Hand that rope over to God. Let Him undo that tangled-up mess and retie your security to Himself. He's the One with all the power."

My pep talks will not work. My ultimatums will not work. My guilt trips will not work. My demands and resolves will not work. Jesse is not going to change because I want him to. And again, what kind of change would that be? Too angry, bitter people- me for having to force him to make the choice rather than choosing it on his own; him for being forced to do something against his will. I cannot change Jesse.

All I can do is hand it over to God. I have to have faith in the only being with the power to promote change. And remember, God has given us free will! He is also not going to force Jesse to change! But my prayer is that through a quiet, though constant stirring in Jesse's heart from Him, Jesse cannot help but make the right choice all on his own.

And when he does, you better believe I'm going to get all high school cheerleader on him and jump and yell and shake my pom poms in support!! After all, that really is my job.

5 years

Today marks 5 years that I have been with my company. When I started, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. I had zero experience in the technical writing field. The only reason I even applied was because the man we had purchased Jersey from worked at HP and said that technical writers have potential to make as much money as their engineering counterparts. (Ha! I'm not sure he knew what he was talking about in that regard...) I thought, hey why not? Try it, and if you don't like it, no big deal. I did not think at the time that I was choosing a career. Merely a job.

5 years later, and I know this is the path for me. I'm incredibly OCD and way too organized for my own good. I like systems and order and a reason for things to work the way they do. Technical writing has been a good outlet for me to get all my crazy obsessive, must-be-perfect desires out. I can write and re-write and edit and consolidate and at the end of the day, I'll probably still do it again. I get to use statements that are short and to the point. Bulleted lists. An organized sequence of steps. Nice neat tables. No clutter on the page.

And to top of my day, I received an email from our CEO recognizing my 5-year anniversary with the company.
It is nice to finally find a niche. Something I can do and feel good about. A place to belong. A job where I know I contribute something of worth. My pay check may not always properly demonstrate my value, but I know I'm valued. I have grown a lot over the years and learned more than I could have imagined. I can only guess what I'll know five years from now!

At five years, employees used to get to take part of what our company called Veteran Day. The CEO would rent a limo (or a party bus as the numbers grew), fly in employees from out of town who had hit 5 years, and everyone would load up, go to some fancy lunch, and then receive $200 cash to go shopping at the Woodlands Mall. And you HAD to spend it on yourself! She would sit and check your receipts to make sure you spent every last penny.

Bummer is that since this downward turn of the economy and growing number of "veterans" in our company, this day no longer exists. I'll be honest, I was sad! I had been looking forward to it. However, I did gain an extra week of vacation time, so I'll take it!

These days I'm just thankful to have a job; much less one that I like, working with people I like, working from home and not missing out on my babies' lives, and still getting a paycheck. I certainly cannot complain.

So, here's to five more years!