Venting

Bear with me people, I need to vent.

Man, it has been a rough week. Seriously, if it were not Friday, I would probably have to call in sick tomorrow. I'm exhausted. And frustrated. And the fuse could snap at any point.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

1. Ryleigh is wearing me out. Now you all know how much I love my daughter, but sometimes you just need a break, ya know? She is in a total funk right now, and though I know I should be sympathetic, loving, and kind to help her work through it, all I want is to let someone else deal with it and hand her back when she's "normal" again.

First, she is most definitely teething. Even my sister-in-law, mother of FOUR kids who watched her one afternoon this week, commented on the FACT that Ryleigh is teething. She drools everywhere. Grabs everything, pulls it straight to her mouth, and rubs it along her gum line. She chomps down on my shoulders, arms, legs...anything that gets close to her mouth. And though the little suckers have not popped through her gums yet, that chomping still hurts! (Finally a reason to be genuinely thankful to no longer be nursing her!)

Second, it seems she is in a bit of a growth spurt. Some days she eats and eats and eats. Other days, she's not so interested in the food. Some days she will take three or four naps throughout the day. Other days, I'm doing good to get her to take a 45 minute nap. Some nights she is sleeping all the way until 6:00am. Other nights, she starts waking up around 1:00am, and will get up every hour until I finally give in and bring her into my room. I need a normal schedule!!

Third, she wants to move so badly! And it frustrates her. She is growing restless quicker and quicker every day. The toys that entertain her one day will have absolutely no interest the next. The only guarantee to hold her attention and prompt even a small smile or laugh, is Jesse or I on the floor, playing, tickling, and paying specific attention to her. Literally, if we turn away for even 2 seconds, to simply look the other direction, she cries out. UGH.

Needless to say, she is not happy about being in a funk, anymore than I am. She has been fussy, irritable, and clingy all week. Now normally, I must admit, I would love her clingy-ness (most of you know, Ryleigh is NOT a cuddler, and rarely likes to be held), but this has not been the best week for that.

2. WORK SUCKS. The team I'm working for right now is located in California, and somehow always seem to forget that I live in Houston. They want me to work on their time, despite the fact I am expected to get to work at 8:00 (my time), they also expect me to work until their 5 or 6:00 (7 or 8:00 my time). This is getting old. Not only that, but the projects I was given also came with deadlines...not until the end of January. There were two short docs that I needed to turn in before Thanksgiving, and I busted my butt to get them in. Two days before the holiday break, right as I was having my giant sigh of relief and trying to get in "relaxation" mode, I received an email...at 4:48pm (literally). Turns out that one of the projects required a set of HTML Help Files, and they were due the week after Thanksgiving. Umm...WHAT? It was Monday, I had 2 days before the holiday, and they wanted these files in a week? The big kicker was the fact that I had no information for the updates. AND I HAVE NEVER WORKED IN HTML BEFORE. Talk about a learning curve! I'm supposed to learn what needs to be updated, learn how to write in HTML, make all the updates/links/etc...in a week...over a holiday break. Awesome. (As a side note, I got SICK the week of Thanksgiving, sore throat, barely able to breathe, could not sleep without a sleeping aid...miserable.)

I busted my butt all week to attempt these HTML files. And ya know what? I just sent them to the team. Yes, it is Friday night, and I sent the files at 11:30pm. That oughta make them feel bad. Or at least slightly guilty. Jerks.

I'm determined to not kill myself during the holiday season. I will not spend my week off over Christmas, sick, lying in bed, recovering from the month. I hate that. I'm not going to do it. So if they try to pull out another crazy deadline like this, I'm going to tell them to kiss my butt!! (Probably not, but it sure sounds good in my vent-ing post...)

3. My house is gross. My laundry is piled. Ryleigh has no clothes, bibs, or burp cloths. I have trash pouring out of every trash can. I have only done my workout once this week. I'M BEHIND IN MY LIFE. I hate the feeling. I hate going into the weekend with a to-do list. Especially a list that is not fun.

I'm determined to do something fun this weekend. I don't know what, but it will be fun, relaxing, and hopefully with my family. Jesse and Ryleigh have really received the brunt of the crap. I have no patience. I'm tired and get frustrated very easily. I cant deal with Ryleigh's clingy-ness, because all I want is a break. I hate that. I should be better than that.

Dear Lord,
PLEASE help me get control of my life. Better yet, please take control of my life. Take away the worries, stress, frustration, impatience, and exhaustion. Give me a spirit of tenderness, patience, love, kindness, and endurance during this time of my life. Help me to "not grow weary of doing good" (Gal 6:9). Give me the ability to love on my husband and daughter despite the fact I am exhausted. Give me patience to deal with Ryleigh's fussiness while she is hurting, and give me the proper empathy every mother should have. Help me learn when to work harder at my job, when to work longer to complete a task, and when to draw the line. Encourage those who influence my work load to realize the expectations they have, and understand that sometimes they are unrealistic. God, all I really want is rest and peace in You. Lord, I need a break. Calm the "storm" of life, and still the rough waters, as only You can. Thank you for your hand in my life, and the truth of Your word. I ask all this in Jesus's name. -Amen.

6-month checkup report

We had Ryleigh's 6-month checkup this morning. I was not as nervous this time, since her 4-month checkup had gone so well.

She was in a good mood all morning, and was very happy. So, once I got us both ready, we loaded up and headed out.

I carried her inside again, and boy- did she have fun in the waiting room! I think there were probably 6 or 7 other babies, all there for well-baby exams. We sat by the window, because last time she was quite entertained starring outside while we waited. This time, oh no. She wanted to watch everyone else. If I even attempted to turn her to face me, she would squirm and throw her head back (upside down) to watch the others. I think I have a social butterfly on my hands! So, we played patty-cake, bounced, rode the "horse" (aka:my knee), and pulled to a standing position. Ryleigh was incredibly restless. Smiling, laughing, talking to other babies, most who did not even notice she was there. One little girl a few months older than her smiled back and they coo'd to each other for a bit. Funny stuff.

The nurse came and called us back, 45 minutes later-UGH, and we were on our way. Ryleigh weighed 15 pounds 12 oz, and measured 26 inches long. She is officially "average." Her height was only in the 55th percentile this trip, so I guess she is no longer the tall, skinny kid.

The doctor came in and checked her out, and all is well. :) We talked about her eating, sleeping, and the pacifier. Dr. Sandifer tried to get Ryleigh to sit up for her, and it lasted about 6 seconds, and then came the lean...not to worry though. Dr. Sandifer said she was fine, and still slightly ahead in her motor development. (Mommy's are allowed to brag from time to time...hehe)

Time for the shots. I was not as concerned this time, but they made me hold down her arms and upperbody. Last time, I did not really have to hold anything down; just stood there consoling her. After the first shot went in her leg, I understood why I was holding her down. Ryleigh started screaming and "bucking" to get off that table! And unlike last time, once it was finished (seemed to take forever this time), and I picked her up, she did not stop crying. She cried for about 5 minutes. When I tried to get her re-dressed, she kept crying. Finally she stopped. The nurse came back in, and said, "I know she is too young for this, but I couldn't help it- she earned it," and handed me a sparkly "Belle" sticker. Ryleigh took one look at that nurse and started screaming again. At least she knew it was HER who pricked her, and not me!!

Once we got to the car, and I put her in her car seat, she started fussing again, then laid her head against the headrest, and went to sleep. Poor girl. Not only was she traumatized from the shots, but she had not had her morning nap (it was 12:30 by the time we left) and she was exhausted. Normally when we get home, whether she was sleeping in the car or not, she always wakes up. Not today. She slept in her car seat for about 30 minutes before she woke up.

So far, no extra fussiness, but supposedly she will be extra sore, since they gave her a Flu shot as well. I have my Tylenol on hand.

Seriously, I think I'm going to have to get Jesse to take her next time. It's tough stuff holding down your baby and watching her bleed. My stomach literally turned over 2 or 3 times. Don't know how much more of that I can do.

I'm thankful for a healthy baby though, and do feel more and more confident with each visit. We are doing a good job (pat myself on the back), and Ryleigh is perfect. What more could a mother ask for? :)

So much to be thankful for...

As I grow older, (and I like to think, wiser), I realize that Thanksgiving is possibly my favorite holiday. Not only because you are surrounded by family and friends, with an excuse to totally pig out on many flavorful and high-calorie foods, but because it usually brings about a week of reflection. Reflection on all the blessings in our life that we frequently forget about and take for granted. Blessings such as:

• Our life: The very fact that we are here. God took the time, in His infinite might, to create us and give us a means (His son, Jesus) to commune with Him, through His spirit. What an amazing gift that we often forget.
• Our families: Most of us have people who love them. People to gather around the table with at the holidays. People who welcome them with a warm, genuine hug. Whether blood family, a group of friends, a community at church, we ought to recognize that these people make up our heart and soul, and we would not get through this crazy life without them.
• Our country and freedom: Men and women fighting, by their own choice, to keep us safe night and day, whether hot or cold. Politicians fighting to protect the constitution and foundation of our country.
• Our health: Perspective is everything here; Even when we do get sick, we have doctors and medicine freely at our disposal, as close as your neighborhood pharmacy.
• Our society: Intelligent, hard-working, fun-loving people who make up our daily lives, working hard to provide "services" we so often expect. (The dry-cleaning lady, pizza delivery kid, assistant coach, middle school teacher, nurse, grocery bagger, church pastor...people we see all the time that make up our world, yet often go unnoticed.)

I could go on and on of all I am thankful for.

I'm thankful for my sweet, hard-working husband. God blessed me with a loving man, who tries hard to love me and provide for our family. I'm thankful for the support he gives me and encouragement when I get discouraged.

I'm thankful for a healthy, happy daughter. Ryleigh has brought more emotion, love, joy, and laughter in my life than I knew possible. I'm thankful for each sweet smile on her lips, and each squeeze of her hand.

I'm thankful for our families. For moms and dads who love us unconditionally, and give abundantly. I'm thankful for the fellowship of my sisters and sister-in-laws, women who I laugh and cry with. I'm thankful for wise grandparents, who instruct in kindness. I'm thankful for my brother-in-laws who treat me as a real person and always make me smile. I'm thankful for niece and nephews who show me what it looks like to truly live and love.

God, I am SO thankful for the blessings in my life, and the blessings you continue to pour down on me daily. Please show me how to be constantly grateful, not just once a year. Give me a heart of thanksgiving and praise to you, and those you have placed in my life.

2007 was a fun Thanksgiving in the Shulse family. :) Ryleigh woke up early, and I got her dressed for the day. Unfortunately, she had other plans, and proceeded to throw up her (orange) sweet potatoes all over her white shirt. When Jesse got home from work, he asked where she was, and I pointed to her room. He walked in to find her naked, asleep in her crib. Considering how cold it was, he looked at me like I was crazy. I explained that she had spit up on her Thanksgiving shirt, and it was being re-washed. He truly did think I was crazy, and said, "it's not like she couldn't wear something else today..." but I was determined!

Jesse and I worked together in the kitchen, heating up the stuffing, cooking the green bean casseroles, and the rolls, and loading it all up (including the carrot cakes we had made the day before) in the back of the Escape. We were all ready to head over to his parent's house...we just had to wait until Ryleigh's shirt finished drying.

Then we were ready. :)

See? So cute. The hat was a little small, but I put it on for cute pictures.

Sweet girl
I can't get enough of this face!
hanging out before the meal:

Jesse, Mrs. Farrington, Jansen, & Jeremy

pretty girls: Mekenzie, Jenn, and Gina :)

JD carving the turkey

Grandma Gertie and Grandma Carol getting in some Ryleigh time
Supper time!

Gina, Mr. Farrington, Justin, & Jenn
generation shot
Papa playing with Ryleigh
Major wanted to take our picture :)
Eli, Major, and Ryleigh
(Major wanted to "hold" Ryleigh)

These two are so sweet together

Ryleigh Ann & Major Riley-Davis

Haha- Dancing around after dinner

Gina & Mekenzie

"David and Goliath"

aka: Eli and Major

the Shulse grandkids

Major, Eli, Jansen, Caleb, Mekenzie, and Ryleigh

home again, home again, and ready for bed
"Gobble, Gobble"
"Thankful for Mommy"

:)

A story for the books

Last night Jesse was getting Ryleigh undressed for her bath. I had filled her tub, and went in to the office to check email real quick.

He finished undressing her and began to carry her down the hall to the bathroom. Right outside the office door, I hear a loud 'fart' noise, and watched as Jesse stopped dead in his tracks. I started laughing and realized that she had farted on his arm, which of course resonated the sound. Jesse was kind of stunned that she had actually farted on him, and we were both giggling. I said, "I guess you 'earned' her first word being "Da-da." And he said, "Heck yeah, I did!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, then I had Ryleigh in the bath tub. We went through our normal routine, washing down her body, then scrubbing her hair, cleaning her face, and then having a bit of play time. She was in a really good mood, so we stayed in a little longer than normal. I'm literally about to pull the plug and get her out, when I see her lips purse together and her face turn bright red. Oh heavens no, she was pushing. Well, she had just farted, so perhaps she was having some gas...sure enough I noticed a few bubbles coming up in the water, and sighed a relief. Then she turned red again.

OH MY GOODNESS. I started screaming for Jesse, and he came running in, just in time to see a big old terd hanging from her rear. He wanted me to pick her up so he could dump out the water and we could re-wash her. Problem was, I did not want to hold her! I was trying to hold up under her arms, while she dangled, but she was slippery and heavy. We were both laughing hysterically and moving around all crazy, and poor Ryleigh just started to cry. She was cold, and Mommy was not holding her right, and Daddy was running around all crazy-like. Poo was still dropping, and when I finally had no choice but to sit her on my knee, I got poop on me. Totally disgusting.

After Jesse cleaned out her tub and re-filled it, so I could re-do her bath, he patted my back and said, "Well, Mama, I think YOU just 'earned' her first word instead!"

Haha. Indeed, I think I did.

Cry it out

Last night I did not get up one time for Ryleigh. I had resolved in my head, that 6-months of waking up and GETTING up two or more times a night was ENOUGH.

Before we gave Ryleigh her bath, (while she was still awake and happy), I put her in her crib with about 15 pacifiers. We "practiced" picking them up and putting them in her mouth. I would pat her arms to her sides and let her feel around to find a pacifier, then she would automatically bring it to her mouth. Most of the time, they ended up sideways or upside down if she got them in her mouth at all, but nevertheless, it was practice.

She took her full bottle before bed, so I knew she would fall asleep fast. By the time Jesse and I were ready for bed, I still had not heard a peep from her. I took a Benadryl so I would be extra drowsy and not lay wide awake listening to her cry.

Sure enough, around midnight, I heard the cry through the monitor. I turned the monitor way down, and turned back over. I listened for a few minutes as she fussed and tossed around, but then I fell asleep. I have no idea how long she fussed. She woke me up again around 1:30, but the same story happened. I listened for about 30 seconds, and was too tired (thanks, Benadryl!) to do much, and fell back asleep. I woke up around 3:30 and went to go check on her though she was not crying, and she was sound asleep...bear in mouth. I guess she found another way to soothe herself.

Ryleigh woke up around 7:00 am this morning, and came in bed with me for some snuggle/play time. I was so happy! There was definitely no all-out wailing as I had expected. I'm going to keep this new trend up and really let her learn how to soothe herself. It is just ridiculous to be getting up still, when she is not sick, teething, or hungry.

I'm sure now that I said that she is going to start teething for sure... :)

New "do"

Mine- not Ryleigh's. :)

This is the shortest my hair has been in over 10 years. Jesse was not too thrilled. His exact words were, "I dont hate it..." Gotta love the man's honesty.

I'm still trying to figure out how to style it. Day 1, it was straight (as shown). Day 2 was curled under with more body. Day 3 (today) it is flipped out. Not sure which I like.

Oh well. I needed a change, and hair can always grow out again!

Before:

After:
Honestly now, which do you prefer? (I promise it will not hurt my feelings.)

Ryleigh- almost 6 months

I know I have not posted Ryleigh pictures in ages...and since we all know that is the main reason many of you come and view my site, I thought I would oblige the masses. :)

There have been a lot of fun and exciting times lately. I know I say it all the time, but this really is the most fun time! I guess she continues to get more and more fun as she gets older. Jesse and I have finally reached the verdict that she is not going to break, and so we play differently with her, and are more willing to try new things. She loves when her daddy picks her up by her ankles, hangs her upside down, and blows on her tummy. Man, does she giggle! She loves when mommy tickles her toes...and her thighs...and her chest...and...well, she is pretty much ticklish every where, and I normally tickle her to the point she gets the hiccups- just like me! :)

She has been sleeping much better and longer during the night. If she wakes at all, she is looking for her pacifier, and I'm working on letting her fuss a bit and try to put it in herself before I jump up and go give it to her. Some nights are better than others, but we are working on it.

Ryleigh seems to have a very good appetite. She likes green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, applesauce, and pears. We tried to add peaches this week, and it was a no go. She does very well eating from the spoon and is great about signaling when she is full. The worst problem we have had so far is the "orange" food staining clothing; whether it is drool or all-out spit up, it comes up orange and has stained many bibs and a few clothes. However, I was given a tip by my cousin to try Spray and Wash, and so far, so good!!

We have her 6-month appointment and checkup next week, and we'll get another round of shots, and hopefully a flu shot as well. I'll let you know how "big" she is once they weigh her. Everyone I see seems to think she looks tiny, but I dont know. I think she is perfect. :)

Okay, okay. Enough of my rambling. Let's get to the part I know you care about. PICTURES!

Mommy and Ryleigh after church

Ryleigh loves riding on Daddy's shoulders!
Playing Peek-a-Boo on Mommy and Daddy's bed

PEEK...A...

BOO!

Ryleigh loves her new exersaucer, and even manages to focus her attention a little longer on her Baby Einstein video.

Sitting patiently and waiting while Mommy fixes breakfast

Yea! Michelle and Savannah came to play!
I'm telling you, she loves her exersaucer!
See??
Finally! Some colder weather! Daddy couldn't wait to bundle me up and see Ryleigh in her A&M hat. So cute!
That's all for now! Just wait until the holidays get rolling...Ryleigh has cute Thanksgiving clothes, and I think she will end up having a new Christmas outfit for every day of the month!

Life is happy. :)

Crash

In case you were wondering why I have not posted in over a week, it is because my laptop crashed. The hard drive died, and I lost everything. Everything.

No more old papers from school.
No more notes written to Jesse.
No more of my old documents for work.
No more address book with the information of everyone I know.
No more Favorites, with my links to fun blogs.
No more Adobe Acrobat.

And worst of all,
No more pictures.

Yes, I lost it all. I lost my pictures. I lost all pictures of Ryleigh. Granted, my camera is still full of her pictures, and I can grab files from this blog and other photo albums I had uploaded elsewhere, but that was not all of them.

I lost ALL pictures from before Ryleigh. Our honeymoon. When we moved into the house. All our "before" pictures we were going to use to show the impovements we have made. Our puppy pictures. Our trip to Mexico together. Pictures from the baby showers. Pictures of my pregnant belly (Which I'm kind of okay losing...). Pictures from Julie's special events. My nephews baseball and soccer games. Graduation.

Everyone keeps telling me, "those are just physical signs of a memory that you have in your heart." Yes, that is true. But I do not have a photogenic memory. I take pictures all the time BECAUSE I know I will forget. And I dont want to.

I'm heart-broken.

I feel so stupid for not backing up my precious pictures. I work in a technical world, for crying out loud, and hear of people's computers "crashing" all the time. Honestly, I thought they were being dramatic. I thought I was invinsible. I'm not.

A friend from work is attempting to recover any data that is not corrupt. I'll know more next week whether anything could be saved. As of now, it is not looking good.

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE. Back up your data. Print off your memories. Store copies of your pictures on a CD, flash drive, external hard drive...or all of the above. I had to learn the hard way. Don't let that be you.

Before I was a Mom

I like this email:

Before I was a Mom-
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom-
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom-
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.