Shaped by tragedy

Often we think of defining moments in our life as the happiest of times. Graduating high school, starting college, getting married, starting a new job, buying your first home, having a baby. And truthfully, they are defining moments.

They define us in a timeline kind of way: when something big happened in life, I felt like X.

They certainly can go on to help shape us into the people we become, but they don't have to.

Starting college puts you in a place where you meet new people, experience life in a new way, and hopefully find out something new about yourself. But the EVENT of starting college does not shape you in and of itself.

Getting married opens you up to another human being in a way that no other relationship can, and it will take a lifetime journey to learn and grow and have the marriage relationship shape the person you become. But the EVENT of the marriage or wedding will not shape you.

Having a baby essentially holds up a mirror for you, seeing the best and worst parts of yourself through the eyes of your child. Guaranteed, the process of becoming a parent will shape you. But the EVENT of giving birth will not make you a different person.

This week brought a lot of thoughts about true life-changing EVENTS. A single thing that happened that instantaneously changed you. Or me, to be more specific.

Wednesday was the 10-year anniversary of the Aggie Bonfire Collapse. I was only a Junior in high school when it happened, and do not remember much about it, if I'm being honest. And to be even more honest, even while I was a student at A&M, I did not think too much about the absence of it. Yes, it was a sad and tragic event in the lives of thousands. But it did not impact me. I was not here. I did not have heart-strings to the campus. I did not know anyone affected. It was not a life-changing event for me. But this week, as the campus and community remembered the event on its 10th anniversary, it struck a new cord. I have ready several people's thoughts and stories about that horrible day. I have watched the remembrance videos on uTube. I have driven by the memorial. And I have cried all the way. Wow. It was a huge life-changing event. In a matter of moments, a core tradition was shaken and lost. People- kids, really, were killed. Family and friends, students and faculty, friend and foe (yes, I'm referring to t.u. here) were all united. By a horrific event.

Kind of like the Columbine shooting, or 9/11. One of those "changed in an instant" moments, that ultimately defined people's lives.

I had another defining moment for me this week, and it hit a little closer to home. We received an email at work informing us that one of our co-workers had been killed in a car accident. She had worked for our company for over 10 years. She was in the military reserves, serving twice in Iraq. And THIS is how she died. A couple blocks from home in her car.

The Chronicle reported that she had been in an argument with her husband and left to cool down. I do not know what is true, and frankly, the only ones who do know are she and her husband. All I know is that she was going too fast, hit a light pole and a brick wall and died on the scene.

Life, changed in an instant.

People, life is too short. It is much more fragile than we realize. I for one am sad that it often takes an event of tragedy to remind us of that. That more often than not, we are truly shaped by tragic events, rather than happy ones. Events that remind us to cherish life~ the ups and the downs. Drive a little slower. Kiss a little longer. Hug a lot more often.

I have been shaped this week. By the stories and heartaches of others through the Aggie Bonfire and by the loss of my own co-worker.

What about you? Do you have any life-changing events? Moments where you will always remember where you were, what you were doing when you heard, or something that rocked you to your core?